How to crack your windows and put cracks in your wall

1) Get your little palm sized iPod
2) Get your audio cable and plug it in your iPod
3) Connect the other end of the cable to your monster amplifier
4) Turn your amp volume to the max
5) Run your finger across your ipod wheel to the max
6) Press Play
7) Feel the floor moving
8) Listen to windows cracking
9) Don't forget to enjoy

Caveat Emptor - Buyer Beware

Times where good. You came to work at your goverment job and instead of sitting with the guys, reading newspapers and drinking turkish coffee or tea stikanas, you rushed to the PC with Internet access, logged into your online broker and did some trades.



It was like a magical slot machine, anythnig you invested in paid off. You doubled your money. You threw money at all the latest iktitabs (IPOs). You cheered, you laughed, you visited car showrooms to shop for your new flash second car.

Then it happened. The market went down one day, you took it like a man, it will pick up tommorow.

The market went down another day, ok, you accept it, that is propably just a correction.

It goes down the following day, what is going on here? could it be a crash ?



All the money you made in 2005 has dissapeared. The bank loan you took to pay for your investments has evaporated. Where do you run for cover?





Who is going to rescue us?

We need Superman.



All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Real Life Simpsons

You all know the Simpsons, now here is the real life version, enjoy.

Ebay bestsellers

ebay, the sooq al yim3a of the Internet, where you can buy or sell anything. If you are looking for a Hatori Hanzo sword, you don't need to go to Okinawa, Japan, you can just get it off eBay. Have you ever wondered what the best selling items in eBay are? well wonder no more, you can find all the eBay bestsellers listed here.

News in Pictures

Here is a cool little flash based web page that shows you the news in pictures, it shows you a grid of the popular news items and if you click on it, it will display a news summary. If you are confused, just click here on 10 x 10, it is amazingly simple.

Where in the world have you been ?

I saw q8sultana's post about the places she has been to inspired by ananyah's map so I thought it was cool. So here are the places I have been to.




create your own visited country map

No fiber today

The door bell rang,
I jumped and sang,
It was the people with the fiber,
it will make my internet run like fire,
they came in with only a string,
they did not bring any other thing,
they checked my electrical trunking,
and found it was working,
and said it was only a survey,
no need to say hurray,
I need to wait 100 nights
for my fiber to be alight,
oh the misery,
oh the torture,
no fast internet for me,
just waiting for the future.

:-(

Fiber to the Home

I live in an area of Kuwait where we have no phone lines (ok it is South Surra). So I rely on my mobile for calls. For Internet, I had DSL before in my old house and I was spoiled, GPRS / EDGE on my mobile is not fast enough. I have a need for speed, so I installed a dedicated uplink / downlink VSAT satellite dish and equipment on my roof and I get extra fast speed, it is a expensive but I figured it is worth it.

Today at work, I get a call from my maid's mobile, she tells me some man outside wants to see me. I figured it was someone trying to sell me somthing useless like my name engraved on a copper plate, or pest control, or something, so I told her not to open the door and tell him to get lost.

I come back from work today and I see this card:



If it is not clear, the card says:

Dear Building Owner,

Please note that MoC contractor who is going to lay optical Fiber Cables up to your internal box to provide telephone service failed to visit your premise today.

We will come back on:

Date: / / 2006
From: to :

Wow! Fiber all the way inside my house, lightspeed internet, video phones, cheap international calls, oops, maybe I should not say that last part.

Tomorrow, I wll be waiting for them, and I will invite them for coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner if need be. I am going to help them break any walls, dig any holes, anything to get that precious fiber. After they install the fiber, I will ithba7 5aroof under the junction box.

I can't wait.

Amazing Employment Opportunities

Are you tired of your current job? Is your boss petty and inconsiderate? Have you been asking for an increase in pay and never got it?

Well now is your chance for a better job, the following jobs are available:



Target Practice Expert

You get to work with guns, working hours are 2 hours every day. You get medical insurance, but no death insurance. You can take this job as part time.



Programmer

You get your own high powered computer, you can write wonderful software, and you get your own desk and chair. Hurry, seating is limited.



Elephant Babysitter

Elephants are wonderful animals, they are gentle and kind and never forget a favor. You get to take care of elephants, make sure that they are well fed and that their living area is clean.




Team Worker

Are you a team player? do you like to make lots of friends? do you like to socialize? This job is perfect for you.



High Rise Technician

Do you want to move higher up? Do you want to have the world at your feet? Do you like to be in a high position ? Apply now. Don't miss out, this job will take you to the top of the world.

Fashion for the Geek in you

Are you a geek but kash5a (fashionable)? Well these cufflinks are perfect for you.

You can wear them with your tuxedo, your shirt, or your bazma dishdasha and keep your precious data with you.

You can find them here.