Happy Birthday in Restaurants

You are busy carving into your huge slab of moo moo meat, stuffing yourself with hot Buffalo wings, or drinking from your reservoir of Electric Lemonade, the Waiters and Waitresses gather round your table. Your friends smile, your mouth is bursting with food, the people round you start singing happy birthday, everyone looks your way, your face turns deep red. You want to hide under the table. You came to have a meal, not to be publicly embarrassed. Now you can get back at the restaurant. You can sue them because Happy Birthday, the song, is copyright material.

For instructions on how to sue everyone in on the conspiracy, go to unhappy birthday.

Skype Missed Fortune

Fortune brings in some boats that are not steered.

William Shakespeare

Unfortunately for those fortune seekers con men, my fortune is not for the taking.

Don Veto

Someone through youtube.com tried to scam me, now someone through skype sent me this elaborate message. My comments are italicized.




[17:40:47] keneth camel says:

Barrister Kenneth Brown.esq
R.G.C Jenkins & Co.
26 Caxton Street
London SW1H 0RJ
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447040121147
Email: kent_479@yahoo.co.uk

R.G.C Jenkins & Co. is real law firm, specializing in patents, trademarks and design. Nice touch, having an orginal law firm.

ATTN:

ENQUIRY

With all due respect , I am Barrister Kenneth Brown, a senior partner in the firm of R.G.C Jenkins & Co ( Legal practitioners , advocates, corporate finance consultants and patent/registered trademarkattorneys) We are presently conducting a STANDARD PROCESS INVESTIGATION / RECOMMENDATION on behalf of PACIFIC TRUST FINANCE , a conglomerate of the PACIFIC TRUST GROUP. This questionaire may be an embarrassement to you since you have never met me before, but the importance of my enquiry serves as an opportunity for me to write you privately. As it may interest you to know, i got your contact from a very reliable source during my recent search for any existing relative to the deceased despite fruitless attempts in the past.

This investigation is in respect of a deceased customer who shares the same surname with you including circumstances surrounding his death.

The PACIFIC TRUST FINANCE customer died INTESTATE and nominated no successor in title over the deposited funds he had in a vault with the finance company. This client is presently having an unclaimed deposit in care of PACIFIC TRUST FINANCE COMPANY and we have been asked to make necessary enquiry and investigation to confirm whether this PTF late client have any extended relative or blood relation to secure his unclaimed funds before the company gets it confiscated since they have failed in previous searches through the embassy and mailing questionaires to his addresses both here and abroad have proved abortive.

I have personally contacted you in order to answer the following questions :

1. Are you aware of any blood relative or extended family of yours born on the 17th of February 1946 who shares the same surname with you and whose last known whereabout was England ?

My family was in Kuwait in 1946, it was the end of World War II, I did not have any relatives vacationing in England, I don't think blitzkrieg bombed London was a very touristy place just after the war ended.

2. Are you aware of any reasonable financial deposit made by this person at PACIFIC TRUST FINANCE ,an offshore financial investment arm of the PACIFIC TRUST GROUP?

3. If you are not related to this person, can you confirm your willingness to receive this unclaimed lodgment with PTF if you are LEGITIMATELY RECOMMENDED by my law firm to the finance company as the stand in next of kin?

Here is the bait, promises of fortunes untold if I make a false claim

4. Will you accept to donate a reasonable part of this sum as grant to charity and needy after receiving this payment?

With a nice little moral twist, it is ok to make a false claim, after all, it will be for charity!

It will be appreciated if you give true answers to the above highlighted questions to enable me determine whether or not you are to be recommended to the finance firm as the funds inheritor before they get it confiscated.

Be advised that, we are being restricted at this point from giving you further details in respect of this deceased customer and investigation / recommendation process for security reasons.

No further details, no mention of how much $$$$$, pounds, or kilos of Gold I will gain if I cooperate

I urgently await your response including answers to the above highlighted questions

Thank you .

Yours Faithfully,

Kenneth Brown . esq
Senior Partner,
R.G.C Jenkins & Co.
Tel: ,+447821761798.


No thank you, I don't need your money, and you can't have any of mine but thank you for considering me.

Youtube Missed Fortune

I got a few videos posted on youtube.com which I linked to on this blog. Those videos received a decent number of hits, such as:

Yemeni Hip Hop with 8,682 views, Musical Indian with 3,646 views and others.

Youtube alerts me if someone sends me a message, so I got the following message:

---

--> Hey, I work for a site where you can upload videos and make money. Interested? Email me at -------@gmail.com if you want to know more.


DV> how much money ?

--> I'd rather not broadcast this on Youtube.. i'll give you all the financial details in a private email..

DV> Sorry Dude, tell me about the money or no vids for you.

---

Lesson for today: if anyone is offering you an easy way to make money, you can be sure it is a scam.

North Korea has the Bomb

But no food, no electricity, no life. Here is a picture of the whole Korean peninsula at night, the lower part is South Korea, bright and shiny, and the dark part is North Korea, dark and depressing. I would bet that single dot in the North is the President's palace.

House Disturbance

The Time: 8 Years ago, in August
Location: My old house

I was coming back home at around 11pm. As I maneuvered my car to park in front of my pavement, I notice that the top floor lights are on. I knew my house was empty except for the maid. Something did not look right. The maid would usually be asleep and not have the lights on. I pulled out the crowbar that I keep under the front seat of my car for protection. I walked through the front gate of the house and pushed open the main entrance and got inside. I Looked up the flight of stairs as I was about to go up, I heard banging noises, the repeating noises sound like a heavy object hitting a door. Two men are talking softly in Arabic. I realized that someone is trying to break into a room upstairs. I quietly walked out and locked the front door behind me, crowbar still in hand. I went to the back of the house to check that the backdoor is locked also. The idea is to lock the burglars in, and call the police giving them time to catch the burglars red handed. I called the police on my mobile softly whispering my address and what is happening to the dispatcher. The 7osh (courtyard) is dark; I never bothered to put in new bulbs after they burnt out. The only light is from the street lamp outside. As I was about to go to the front of the house, I saw a dark figure climbing down the ground floor window. I ran to him, waving the crowbar above my head, I wanted to split his criminal head. "Stop", the figure commanded, as I ran towards him. I see his arm outstretched ending with a menacing gun aimed directly at me. I quickly thought, crowbar versus gun, not a very fair fight. I froze, "Drop what you have", he barks. I did as he said. "Lie down on the floor". I curl in a fetal position, my arms wrapped around my head. My thoughts where, if he is going to shoot my head, I might have the remote chance that my arms would slow down any bullet flying towards my precious brain. A bullet anywhere else in my body would not be lethal, I figured, or at least buy me time for medical help. He picks the crow bar from the ground, swung at my bent leg; I heard a dull thump, after what seems to be a little time, I felt a hot growing pain mixed with numbness growing from the point the heavy metal struck me till the throbbing pain spread across my lower left leg, no bones cracked. I lied still. "If you move, I will shoot you", I did not move for a few minutes as he makes his get away.

I get up. My leg hurts but it is not broken, I got out and stould on the street waiting for the police to arrive. I made a few more calls to high relatives with high ranks in the police force. The police arrive fifteen minutes later. They surrounded the house and closed off the area I lived in. They hesitantly entered the house guns drawn and go upstairs. I follow after them. We find the maid tied up with duct tape, frightened but otherwise unharmed. One locked door has the handle badly damaged. It seemed I surprised the burglars and they could no break the door. No one is hurt and nothing is missing from the house.

The Time: Today
Location: My new house

I am outside having a coffee. I get a call on my mobile from my maid. She hysterically shouts on the phone saying she heard a big noise downstairs. I think fast. It could it be another burglary in the making. I am far away and it would take me 30 minutes to reach the house in this Ramadan traffic. I tell her calmly that I am outside and far away. I assure her it is probably nothing  and ask her to quietly go down and see what the commotion is. I tell her I will call her back after five minutes. I did a quick mental scenario calculation. If it was another burglary, the most that could happen to her is that she gets mummified with duct tape. If I was to rush to the house, I would be too late, and secondly, I might get another gun pointed in my face. I call after five minutes, if she does not answer; it could mean trouble and I will call the police. She answers, laughing, saying she discovered a cat jumping around in the 7osh. All is well; history did not repeat itself today.

Shower like a man / woman

I came across this post from Stylish Girl, I am still laughing and can barely type. Read it here.

If Banks where Rock Bands

The Kuwaiti workforce mostly work in the government or government affiliated institutions. For the Kuwaitis that work in the private sector, a big part are active in the financial sector including banks and investment companies. On the subject of banks, I found this fun article from Bloomberg that compares banks to rock bands.


1) Goldman Sachs = The Rolling Stones

Because it is number 1 and deservingly arrogant.

2) Citigroup = Ozzy Osbourne

because it is growing old disgracefully, just like the prince of darkness, Ozzy.

3) Deutsche Bank = Fleetwood Mac

Immensely profitable? Check. Years of infighting and not communicating with one another? Check. Badly in need of a style makeover? Check. It's Fleetwood Mac.

4) JPMorgan = Radiohead

Too clever and needing another big hit to remain relevant.

5) Barclays Capital = Oasis

Insolent and failing to break into the US Market, just like Oasis.

6) Morgan Stanley = Coldplay

Deadly earnest. Blue-blooded. Well-heeled. Regularly at the top of the charts.

7) Merrill Lynch = Madonna

Peaked in the 1980s and have been irrelevant since the 1990s, notwithstanding umpteen attempts at reinvention.

8) HSBC = any boyband

The true performers earn peanuts, while the management reaps the financial rewards.

9) UBS = Phil Collins

Both rich, both based in Switzerland, and no one with any sense gives a hoot about either.

10) Commerzbank = David Hasselhoff

Big in Germany, and no one understands why.


Now for the Kuwaiti banks, I don't work in a bank so to all my banker readers, what bands are Kuwaiti or Arabic BANKS?

Book Tag

I got this tag from Mia's blog, even though Mia didn't not tag me exclusively. It is a pretty safe tag with no deep dark revelations so I thought it would be fun to do it. I was also accused of being a lazy blogger by Qatar Cat, which is true BTW. QC, it is hard to post anything inspirational with no coffee and an empty stomach so I do cheat, and I post from youTube, but the vids are carefully chosen to be entertaining yet have some value.

Back to the tag:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people.


"In the mystery, on the other hand, the biggest scene of all, the actual murder, takes place offstage. Most of the emotions, in fact, are buried, hidden beneath facades and lies and secrets; it is the task of the detective to bring them to light. Much is told from the perpsective of the present looking back upon the past."

The book is, "How to Write Killer Fiction: The Funhouse of Mystery & the Roller Coaster of Suspense" by Carolyn Wheat.

Qatar Cat, you are tagged. Anyone one else would like to do this tag, you are welcome to do the tag also.

Playing with Fire

Here is a video of someone playing with fire, actually he is not playing, it is a serious physics experiment called the Ruben's Tube but very cool, mixing sound with fire.



To all the budding physicists seeing this, don't try this at home, unless you want to burn down your house.

On this note, here are some more Fire related music,
The Doors - Light my Fire
Talking Heads - Burning down the House

Past, Present and Future

Performed by Agnetha Faltskog

Google Gadgets

Google does it again, they just introduced a plethora of Gadgets that you can insert in your web page. These gadgets range from the well known Google Maps and Google Calendar to fun stuff like Pac Man and Hangman. They provide the HTML code to paste in your web site.

All the Google gadgets can be found here.

Happy Template editing, this will help you pass the time during this slow weekend or waiting for Futoor.

The War in Iraq has gone Mad Max

Remember Mad Max, followed by Mad Max 2 and concluded with Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome? Mad Max was a cult favorite that told the story of Mel Gibson (Mad Max) trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic world. There was an oil shortage, souped up, weaponized cars and crazy car chases. Here is a common scene from Mad Max:




Because of logistics foul ups, or immediacy or possibly because some soldiers wanted to Pimp their rides, pick up trucks North of our Border in Iraq have make shift weapons and armor installed on them.







Notice the sign on the concrete barricade indicating the direction to Kuwait.










More pictures here and here.

I tihnk when the war is eventually over, I will go to the Basra scrap yard and buy one of these trucks and equip it with paint ball bullets so I can shoot bad drivers, people talking on their mobiles and people driving very slow in the fast lane.

Finally, here is Kathem Al Saher with Sara Brightman singing "The War is Over"

Michael Jackson New and Improved

Michael Jackson sold 51 Millions of his Thriller album, now he rereleased thriller with a nice Bollywood reinterpretation.



Is that him? or do I need more coffee?