2008-02-18

Consultants - or - How to Impress / Baffle your audience

We must leverage granular synergies and operationalize mission-critical market space. By doing this we ramp up holistic capability transfer resulting in globalized scalable value chain.

I was always impressed with consultants with their sharp suits, ultra light laptops and powerpoint presentations and the impressive words they deliver to numbed out audiences. It always holds me in awe but when I try to figure out what they said, nothing registers.

If you want to speak like a consultant, here are some guidelines with a useful table from Guerilla Consulting.

Here is another BS generator that will generate powerful phrases with the click of a button.

2008-02-17

Genius

I checked out my blog readability level and I got a Genius level.

blog readability test

Movie Reviews



My first thought was that it says that to all the bloggers that try it out. Flattery gets you anywhere. So I tried it out on Safat which is a mix of all the Kuwaiti blogs and the level I got was elementary. I tried it on some other blogs and I got Junior school.

Check it out on your blog.

2008-02-16

Do Not Use an ATM Today

I needed some money to buy stuff for the house. My wallet was empty but I had plenty at the bank. Naturally, I headed to the ATM (automatic teller machine), slid my card in and I got a "Hardware Failure" message with my card spat out rudely. I left that misbehaving ATM and went to the next to it. Same result. I walked a few steps and went to another ATM from a different bank, this time the ATM asked for my PIN number. I touched the tiny keypad and nothing happened. I banged at the keypad and the hidden stars appeared. I withdrew money and all was well.

What I guess happened is that all these sensitive electrical contacts and magnetic readers are clogged up from all the dust in the air that we are experiencing in Kuwait.

Moral of the Story: Don't use an ATM today, it is clogged up and might not do what you want.

2008-02-14

2008-02-13

Happy Valentines Day

Valentine in Kuwait

Because of all the fuss about Valentine's Day, I want to wish you all a Happy Valentine's day. In support of this day of love, my blog will be red.

Here is a nice romantic song to set the mood.



Here is another classic:

Office Work Motivation Poster

Office Work

2008-02-11

Farscape

My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit and I got shot through a wormhole. Lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? Being hunted... by an insane military commander. Doing everything I can. I'm just looking for a way home.


This is the prologue for the Sci Fi television series Farscape. I just finished watching four seasons of Farscape. I was watching the show non stop for the last 2 weeks. It is indescribable, a frantic insane space adventure, with weird strange wonderful alien characters jumping through space wormholes, and a struggle to save the galaxies and all the species.

Here is a little clip that I put together after I borrowed a big part of it from farscape fantasy and some more here. I did not think the background music worked, so instead I replaced it with David Coverdale's Days of Thunder. I hope you like it.

2008-02-09

Flickr Protest


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

There is a protest on flickr about the Microsoft takeover of Yahoo. Flickr users have submitted their artwork against the takeover. Full pictures here.

2008-02-05

A Day at the Office

powerpointing



It was a long meeting. We where all siting in the spacious meeting room listening to the presenter powerpointing away. The presenter was reciting the benefits and features of his solution, spouting long and complex technical terms in a deep monotonous voice. He was extremely intelligent and knew his business, the only problem was his very strong Indian accent. The meeting room was warm and I was sitting in a comfortable chair, resting my head on my hand, elbow on the table, I started to doze off. Suddenly I heard "friggin common" among the stream of technobabble. My ears perked like a Doberman Pinscher. "Excuse me", I interrupted. "Could you repeat what you said?" He said it again, "friggin common". I listened hard. I was not dreaming, he really said "friggin common"! "Please elaborate", I asked politely. He must have thought I was stupid, but humored me. He repeated again and explained slowly, "frequent command". I ordered turkish coffeee no sugar, the next time the coffee boy came and made the round for drinks.

2008-02-01

BREAKING NEWS: Microsoft buying Yahoo.

Microsoft offers $44.6 billion for Yahoo. Offer, half in cash and half in stock, represents 62% premium

Microsoft is buying Yahoo. More here from Marketwatch.


Will the new name be Yasoft, or Microhoo! ?

Slow Internet in Kuwait - Saudi Arabia saves the day

all of you in Kuwait are probably experiencing extremely slow Internet, I know I am.

Well the reason is two submarine fiber cables being cut, one off the coast of Alexandria, Egypt and the other off the coast of Dubai, UAE. The company owning these fiber cables is FLAG Telecom. Flag Telecom has an update from FLAG Telecom in PDF or you can read it here:

Update on Submarine Cable Cut - Daily Bulletin @ 0900 GMT February 1 2008
Bulletin will be updated Daily with Progress.

Cut # 1:
− FLAG Europe-Asia cable was cut at 0800 hrs GMT on January 30 2008.
− Location of cut is at 8.3 kms from Alexandria, Egypt on segment between Egypt and Italy.
− FLAG has restored circuits of customers who are covered under Pre-planned Restoration service.
− FLAG is implementing restoration on alternative route for customers who have requested Ad hoc Restoration service.
− The Repair ship is expected arrive at the site by February 5 2008. The Repair work will be completed within a week thereof.

Cut # 2:
− FALCON cable is reported cut at 0559 hrs GMT on February 1 2008.
− Location of cut is at 56 kms from Dubai, UAE on segment between UAE and Oman.
− FLAG is arranging Restoration of circuits for customers covered under Pre-planned Restoration service.
− Customers have been advised to contact their respective Account Managers for Ad hoc Restoration service.
− The Repair ship has been notified and expected to arrive at the site in next few days.


Here is the part of the FLAG fiber network:

FLAG Network

Right now, KEMS (my ISP) is being routed through Saudi Arabia by Sattelite.