Work Dedication

If you want to get ahead in your career you need to work hard and give it your very best.

Here is our employee of the month:

De-Motivational Posters

Plenty more here, be sure to print them out and hang them in your work cubicle.

I should be a bodyguard.

I just read something about an ex-bodyguard suing Lindsay Lohan because she did not pay him.

The bodyguard says he was not paid $55,000 which works out to be around KD 14,584 for 19 weeks of work. Hmm, 19 weeks, this means KD 14,584 / 19 weeks = 767 KD per week, meaning around 108 KD a day.

I don't see much risk in being a bodyguard for an actress, unless she is attacked by critics. Usually critics attack in columns and web sites and do not use guns. The Bodyguard says "his duties included protecting Lohan from fans and the paparazzi, accompanying her to industry events and obtaining VIP tables at clubs and concerts.".

So the work involves pushing a few camera faces around and making reservations.

I make more than him but I work long hours and get lots of stress which I solve by drinking bucket loads of coffee. I have a big built and I can look very threatening. Maybe I have the wrong job.

Consultants - or - How to Impress / Baffle your audience

We must leverage granular synergies and operationalize mission-critical market space. By doing this we ramp up holistic capability transfer resulting in globalized scalable value chain.

I was always impressed with consultants with their sharp suits, ultra light laptops and powerpoint presentations and the impressive words they deliver to numbed out audiences. It always holds me in awe but when I try to figure out what they said, nothing registers.

If you want to speak like a consultant, here are some guidelines with a useful table from Guerilla Consulting.

Here is another BS generator that will generate powerful phrases with the click of a button.

Office Work Motivation Poster