Horoscope

I am a Libra, although I don't believe in Astrology. I have a hard time believing general statements that can apply to anything and anyone. What is my horoscope today? According to msn astrology:

An unexpected phone call, perhaps from an old friend, could come your way today, dear Libra. This person is apt to have good news for you, though he or she may be in a rather melancholy mood. A long conversation could result, the outcome of which is going to change your life, albeit in a subtle way. Nonetheless, this is apt to be a day full of pleasant surprises. Enjoy it!

Let me check my mobile, I got a call from Oracle, but it was not an old friend, it was more like an Oracle sales man sniffing around for confidential insider information. I politely told him to email me instead of cold calling me. Other than that no surprise phone calls.

I need my Horoscope to be specific and detailed, something like:

Don Veto, yes Don, I am talking to you! Don't go to work today, go straight to the stock market, you will find a free parking place next to the falafel restaurant. Buy all you can of NBK stock, wait until it hits that price then sell all. You will make enough to last a month then do that again when you run out of money.

Now that would be something I could read and act on every day.