Naomi Phones her Housekeeper

Naomi throws phone at house keeper and gets taken to court. Poor housekeeper, must have had her head ringing from the throw. House keeper received the call, too bad it was not a missed call. Read more here.

Sorry for the bad puns, but I could not resist.

April Fool Ban - Coming Soon

While browsing through oficial websites, I found this National Security Study Directive about banning April Fool's day and finding alternatives. So tommorow, enjoy your April Fools, because soon it will be banned.

NSSD 4-06, April Fool Alternatives, March 20, 2006

[National Security Study Directives]

National Security Study Directive 4-06,
"April Fool,"
April 1, 2006.

---

Editorial headnote:
Since 1508, April Fool (April 1 [eng], Poisson d'Avril [fr] , Sizdah bedar [ir]) has claimed many victims with hazardous and life threatening results. Public outcry has resulted in a Presidential approval to forbid the practice of April Fool. In order to establish the basis for such a decision, AFCC (April Fool Congressional Committee) requested a study of April Fool incidents and alternatives to it. President Bush was briefed on the concept of a April Fool alternatives on March 27, 2006, and a few days later signed this directive establishing the terms of reference for the needed study. Ordinarily, Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs Steve Hadley would have signed the directive as Chairman of AFCC; the White House decided to have the President himself sign the document as an indication of the study's significance.

Document available in AFCC Historical Reference Collection, History Office, AFCC Headquarters, Washington, DC. Page references to original document in brackets.

---

[1] March 20, 2006

APRIL FOOL ALTERNATIVES

OBJECTIVE

A study will be conducted to establish the basis for an Administration decision on whether or not to proceed with the April Fool Alternatives. This NSSD establishes the Terms of Reference for this study.

GUIDELINES

The specific policy issues to be addressed are the following (responsible
agencies are indicated in parenthesis):

• How will April Fool Alternatives contribute to the spirit of the day? (DOH)
  
• How will April Fool Alternatives best fulfill national and
  international requirements versus other means of satisfying them?
  
• What are the national security implications of April Fool Alternatives? (DOD/DCI)
  
• What are the foreign policy implications, including arms control
  implications, of April Fool Alternatives? (State/NASA/ACDA)
  
• What is the overall economic and social impact of April Fool Alternatives (NASA/Commerce/State)
  

These five policy issues will be addressed for each of the four
scenarios outlined below.

In order to assess the policy issues in a balanced fashion, NASA will provide a background paper outlining four example scenarios that represent possible approaches for the continuation of this nation's April Fool Alternative.

IMPLEMENTATION

A Working Group under the Senior Interagency Group for AFCC has been established to conduct this study. The Working Group is chaired by NASA and includes representatives from DOD, DOC, DCI, DOS, and ACDA. The Working Group will produce a summary paper that
assesses the issues and identifies policy options. Results of the study will be presented to the AFCC not later than April 2006 prior to presentation to the President. Papers
produced by the Working Group will not be distributed outside the Executive Branch without the approval of the AFCC. The AFCC may issue more detailed Terms of Reference to
implement this study.

/signed/

George W. Bush jr.

---

On a dark desert highway I found a marathon

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

Actually, it was the Gulf Road this afternoon in Kuwait with a nearly empty tank of fuel. I was looking for a gas station and I see ambulances, police cars, regular cars with those flash thingies stuck on top and lots of people wearing blue and white walking energitically and some running. It was a marathon, oh shoot, I thought, I don't need my car stuck there, I can't run out of gas in the middle of this chaos. Luckily they had the left lane open for traffic and I managed to get through. I snapped a few pictures. Enjoy, maybe you can recognize someone. I still don't know what the marathon was about, there was a lot of NBK logos but I still don't know what it was about, maybe someone can enlighten me.



  

  

  

  




  

  

  

  




  

  

  

  




  

New Google Products

Google is wonderful. You can find anything you want from Google. It is a billion billion dollar market cap company. They got so much money, they can constantly roll out new products and services. Here is a little preview of what could be coming soon out of the google labs.

Five Alternative Uses for your Mobile

Your mobile is your most prized and nescessary posession. If you leave your house withouth your mobile, you feel lost and disoriented. Some people are so attached to their mobiles they want to be buried in the grave together so maybe they would receive calls from the grave.

Here are some alternative uses for you and your mobile:

1) You wake up, the room is pitch black, you know it is a mess and you don't want to step on something like last night's snack that could be on the floor as you make your way to the bathroom.

What do you do ?

find your mobile of course and use it as a flashlight.

2) You lost your life line, your means of communications, your single point of contact, your mobile!

how do you find it?

You find another phone and call yourself then go round the house trying to pick up your ringing melody. Now if you have your mobile on vibrate, then you go round the house feeling the couches and listening to the vibes.

3)You get a light bulb idea, and you don't want to lose that inspirational thought,

What do you do?

you type your creativity into your mobile as a message to yourself.

4) Some crazy driver cuts you off and nearly makes you drive into the pavement. You want payback,

Mobile to the rescue

You whip out your mobile so fast, you would make any gun slinging cowboy proud, and photograph his license number. You might never report him (or her) but the satisfaction of having a "go to jail" card on that individual makes you feel better.

5) What time is it, or for that matter, what day is it? you can't find your watch, your are lost in time.

What do you do?

Simple, find your mobile and check the time and date.

Since my Internet left me

My internet at home is temporarily out for some rewiring and new set up, that is why I have not been posting. I got a call from the internet Techie today and things should be back to normal before this weekend.

UPDATE

Internet is back in my home,

I present to you my (not so neat) Internet set up and new wiring installation.

What if Microsoft designs the iPod package

Funny video about how an iPod would be packaged, the Microsoft way:

Understanding Men

I put educational posts about Understanding Women, being:

Understand Women Better using Mathematics

Understanding Women - For Engineers

Understanding Women - For Engineers - Part 2

Women Rule

Well the article here explains men to all the women who need help.

History and Communications

After digging 100 meters deep Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years and concluded that they already had a telephone network a thousand years ago.

To overcome their embarrassment the American scientists dug 200 meters and found traces of 2000 years old optical fibers and announced that they had high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians.

Pakistan being so active in international affair's these days could not keep silent and after digging as deep as 500 meters Pakistani scientists found nothing and proudly declared that 5000 years ago (much before Russians & Americans) they were already using mobile phones.

Google's Finance Page

Have a look at google's beta finance page. The link here is for AAPL stock.

I love they way the show the relationship between news and the share price. It is very simple but hard to explain in words. You will need to see it for yourself.

I would like to see one for the Kuwait stock market, but the news items would probably be very different, my guess is it would look like this:


PWC is a buy, sell your house immediately and buy all the shares you can get.
source: Bu Fahad from the Shamiya Diwaniyah.

NBK will drop, Babu while serving stikanas got scolded by a high level manager for serving tepid tea. Babu predicts that things are not so good at NBK.
Source: Babu the Tea Boy.

Global will have a big announcement. German visitors to global where talking about 8 figure deals.
Source: Marwan, the Taxi driver ( who overheard their conversation)

Real Estate will boom.
Source: undisclosed source from undisclosed location, but everyone agrees.

The Devolution of Michael Jackson

The Fine Art of Wanette Riding

Most of you are fortunate enough to have a car that gives you freedom to drive around all over Kuwait whenever and wherever you like. In these times of stock market instability and the possibility of instant unexpected poverty, I wish to enlighten you about the fine art of Wannete riding.


Wanette


Wannetes is the Kuwaiti word for the ubiqitious pick up truck that you find driving around in Kuwait and in the Arabian peninsula in general.

There are different wannetes available on the streets of Kuwait, some are privately owned, others belong to one of the assorted companies in Kuwait. The company's logo will clearly be marked on the side. Other Wanettes belong to Kuwaiti individuals and have funky colors and customized exteriors with stickers and writings advertising the owner's taste and inclinations.


Kuwaiti Wanette - Funky Colors - Extreme Customization - Obligatory Markings / Sticker


Wanette drivers come in all shapes and sizes also. The driver could have a chremba meaning he is of Arab origin or Persian origin. There are Indian drivers that can be identified by their dark complexion, and red lips and at regular intervals would be spitting a red stream. Do not be alarmed when you see this, the indian driver does not have tuberculosis, bronchitis or a new lung disease. He is most probably chewing ban which is a minor narcotic chewed by the different indian populace in Kuwait. The side effect of it is a feel good buzz, red spit and orange tongue.


Indian Driver and Passenger


You will find drivers that are fully dressed in traditional Kuwaiti dress being a white guhtra, black iqal and dishdasha, all clean and properly starched and pressed. Extremely sakba. Don't be fooled, the driver is not Kuwaiti but of arabic origin and could be Syrian, Palestinian, Ahwazi or even Bidoon. The purpose of the costume is to avoid the checkpoints and road side stops initiated by our vigilant traffic police.

To ride a wanette you can stand anywhere on either side of the street and wave a Wanette down. Wannete's are very friendly and customer oriented and will stop even in the middle of the street creating minor traffic jams and bruised bumpers but do not worry, it is not your problem.

Once the Wanette stops, you have the option to sit near the driver, or in case the weather is cool and the driver smells bad, you can sit in the back of the Wanette.


Not a Wanette - Do NOT attempt to stop

Wanette drivers are not allowed by law to carry passengers for a fee but they are allowed to transport things for you and receive a fee. Some enterprising drivers will have an old fridge or used cupboard permanenetly placed in the back of the Wanette. In the unlikey event that you get stopped by the police, the quick excuse that you are transporting your fridge will be presented and you will be let off.

Rates vary between 250 fils to 1 Dinar depending on how good you are at bargaining.

Now that you know a little more about Wanettes, feel free to catch a ride. It will definitely be something to remember.

Real Girls Eat French Fries

You might have noticed that McDonald is trying to create a healthy and refined image rather than the junk (oops I mean fast) food joint that it is.

It bought part ownership in Pret a Manger recently. Pret a Manger or Pret for short is an English resturant chain which prides itself on fresh sandwiches, natural foods and clean quick service. It also serves one of the best shots of espresso I ever tried. If you are ever in London or the UK forget Buckingham Palace, Tower of London, or Harrods, run to a Pret and order an espresso, you will thank me for it. But I am steering off the subject.

Back to McDees, McDonald's in its recent campaigns is encouraging healthy eating, sports, fruits and salads even though the Big Mac, Fries and Milkshake is a killer combination in more ways than one. I always liked McDonald and did not think it should become an organic sterile bland health shop. The following Business Week article written by a group of smart girls agrees with me, one long quote follows:

So what does a girl want? What would be a successful natural new product? Below is fast food brainstorming done girlstyle. We rolled up our sleeves and took a look at girls and their food -- what drives them during ordering, how they diet, and the relevant differences between how boys and girls eat. Armed with these insights we hoped to get some ideas for McDonald to work with that support the brand, not abandon it.

Girlstyle dieting is a sophisticated art form. Yes we care about our weight, but maybe not the way you think -- at least not when it comes to McDonald. It's more subtle and complex than just throwing down a salad and calling it a day. When girls diet we still order what we crave but we also use strategy.

VIVE LE DIFFERENCE. For example a girl might think: I will only eat a handful of fries instead of scarfing down the whole box, this way I get my pleasure without feeling guilty. Or she might be even more sly. If she decides she wants a hamburger, she'll convince her boyfriend to buy one for himself, knowing she'll take a bite to satisfy her own craving. Convoluted? Yes, but this is the calculus real girls use to negotiate their food during a diet.

Boys are functional eaters. Girls are experiential. If you pay close attention you'll notice that there are significant differences in how they eat. Eating is much more of an event, an experience, for girls than it is for boys (and often this drives boys crazy!). Guys are functional. They grab, they swallow, and you wonder if they even chew. They will eat anything, anywhere, and they execute the task with great efficiency. For girls eating is about more than just the food.


The article "Real Girls Eat French Fries" can be read here.

Driving in Kuwait

Driving in Kuwait is quite an adventure. You get to meet different people from different cultures each one with his own special way of driving. A journey that would take you a few minutes can become a quest that can take you hours, you will feel like the hobbit in Lord of the Rings, meeting different creatures, fairies, dragons, monsters and other unexpected mishaps.

As a public service, I would like to show you a little about the different things that you can expect to see when driving in Kuwait.

Monsters

When you are in a hurry to get from one place to another because you are already late or maybe because you have a fast car and a heavy gas foot, you can always expect a monstrous truck to slow your progress. It will appear in front of you and block your view of the street ahead. It will drive at exactly one half of your regular driving speed and stop suddenly. The truck in almost 99% of the cases be driving on the left hand side, flashing your headlights will not work, it will not budge and will not see you. You give up and try to overtake it from the right. As soon as you try you will find a car blocking you from turning right.

Immortal Bike Rider

You drive happily and see a bicycle rider driving straight towards your front bumper. You think, no one can be that suicidal or so nonchalant about his welfare. That bicycle driver must have the gift of immortality or amazing healing powers like a vampire where only a wooden stake through his heart or cutting of his head off would kill him. These bike drivers are usually from the Indian subcontinent, he must be new in Kuwait and still did not discover that in Kuwait we drive on the right side of the road as opposed to India where they drive on the wrong side of the road.

Show me Blood

There is an accident on the opposite lane, the ambulance is there with its lights flashing. The poor victim is lying in a pool of blood. The lane you are on slows down and stops. It could mean two things, either we have a good Samaritan that want to jump out of his car and donate whatever blood they have to give to their fellow humans, or we have bored drivers that want to see a little blood and get entertained.


Good Samaritan

You approach a U turn coming from the other lane, the cars in front of you stop. What is going on? Is there an ambulance wanting to get through? Did somebody's car break down? Nope, it is the evil good Samaritan, that has taken it upon himself to close your lane so others from the opposite lane can make their U turn. That good Samaritan did not think that you might be in a hurry also because your wife is in the back seat about to give birth and you would like it to happen at the hospital rather than in your car.

Lines on The Street

The lines on the street are not there for decoration, they are there to tell you that you are in the correct lane. Driving over the lines as shown above is wrong. Driving between the lines is right.

I hope this has been of some use to you, and happy driving to all.

Iranian Policewomen

Click here if it does not play.

or here:



I don't know about you, but I am impressed. The next time I need a bomb defused or a SWAT team, I am going to call +98 911, or is it +98 777 ?

What would you do with a billion dollars?

Federal agents have caught Tekle Zigetta smuggling 250 Billion dollar notes based on 1000 dollar bills.

To read the full story, you can find it here on Smoking Gun.

Now the question is, what would you do if you found an original authentic Billion Dollar note? Would you buy the biggest mansion, the fastest car, or maybe 10 of them, quit your job, or just put it in the bank and go to the ATM machine and ask for a Balance Enquiry, and watch the zeros wrap around a few times on that tiny paper slip?

Supernature - or - A Brave new tiny world

Scientists have managed to manipulate strands of DNA into any shape or form. Knitting DNA together and exploiting different properties of DNA, two dimensional and three dimensional shapes can now be created measuring a few nanometers. One nanometer is really minuscule, and is a billionth of a meter. A cell is around 10 nanometers wide.



Scientist have crafted a nano smiley face.




A tiny map of the Americas.

Ok, big deal, so scientists can create teeny tiny artwork, it is sort of interesting and cool, but so what?

Well, now that sicientists are able to shape DNA in different ways, then they can be shaped into useful tools and microscopic machines. You can build a nano machine that wipes out the cholestrol off your blocked arteries, gets rid of the tar in your lungs from smoking, zaps those cancer cells or even trivial things like fix those wrinkles or change your eye color. It is a brave new world.

Let us hope it is not misused or our fate would be like the fate of humans in the visionary 1978 Disco classic, Supernature by Cerrone.

Once upon a time
Science opened up the door
We would feed the hungry fields
Till they couldn't eat no more
But the potion that we made
Touched the creatures down below
And they grow up in a way
That we'd never seen before
Supernature, supernature, supernature, supernature

Cerrone - Supernature



Full story here.

Hell Hath no Fury Like a Woman Scorned

Women Rule

What if Women set the rules? What world would we have? What can we expect to change?

Answers to these timeless questions are here: