Visa Application for the United Kingdom

Form altered to protect the innocent, mainly myself.

I needed to apply for a UK visa. I hate dealing with any sort of bureaucracy where you need to fill up forms, provide attachments, wait the next day, and then get a response.

Anyway, before I went to the UK Consulate in Kuwait, I checked out their website which told you exactly what you need to do to get a visa, and had a PDF file to download for the form.

The gist of the form is:

  • Personal Information

  • Are you a terrorist? Or a potential terrorist?

  • Do you have money to pay for yourself or are you going to leech the British health and social welfare system?

The British embassy is particularly prompt in giving you a visa on the next day, but I propose a same day process.

My way would start by having you enter the first room at the consulate, it will have 2 rows of seats, each row facing a large television screen. One screen would be showing the BBC, and the other one would be showing Al Jazeera news. If you sit on the Jazeera side, you could be a potential terrorist and asked to leave after 5 minutes. If you watch the BBC, then you are invited to the next room.

In the next room, there would be two counters, one would be offering free tea and coffee from vending machines and the other would be one of those high priced coffee places like Starbucks or Costa, but the British version of it, possibly a Pret a Manger.

If you go for the free coffee, then you cannot afford to live in the UK. You are asked to leave after drinking your coffee. If you order a fancy coffee drink and pay 6 KD for that drink, then you are also given a pass to enter the last room.

Holding your paper Starbucks Latte cup, you are invited in the third and last room, you are asked a few questions in the Queen's English, if you understand what they are saying, then you submit your passport and get your visa promptly.

Quick, efficent and fast.


  1. i do think that's a jolly good idea ol'chap!

  2. Lol!

  3. How many espresso shots is a 6kd cup of coffee??

  4. bb_q8: splendid idea, my dear bb.

    wer3y: no, the British Embasy does not think so cause they gave me my visa.

    miyafushi: around 12 maybe ;-)